Little girls, little twirls, and Daddies.

THE ULTRASOUND TECH TOLD US IT WOULD BE ONE OF THE TWO. IT WAS ONE OF THOSE NERVOUS/EXCITED MOMENTS THAT THE SIMPLE COLOR OF A SCREEN WOULD DEFINE MUCH OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES. I ADMIT, THAT WHEN MY WIFE AND I WENT FOR THE 20-WEEK ULTRASOUND FOR OUR FIRST BABY, I WAS HOPING, AS A GUY, FOR THE SCREEN TO TURN BLUE. NO DOUBT.

IT WAS PINK. NO DOUBT… It was pink three times in a row,  and I could not be more delighted! That pink screen has turned into seemingly scores of little pink dresses hanging in the pink closet of the pink room that belongs to my three little beauties; Tirzah, Hadassah, and Aletheia. I have the honor of being Daddy to a trio of these precious darlings.

In a short time, I have noticed that little girls do little twirls, and lots of them. They have an almost incessant fascination with being noticed, with being sought after, and admired for their their loveliness. So, at my house, any pen can turn into a makeup pen, and any moment to turn into a beauty pageant. Why is this? 

Because of the image of God that our daughters bear. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Gen. 1:27). The greatness of God’s traits is way too excellent to fit into just one gender. He doted His likeness upon two, both male and female.

We tend to consider God more as Father, as King, as per usual, in terms of His attributes that play out more in men. And yes, His role as Sovereign Judge, His righteous fierce anger, God as Protector and Ultimate Authority, are most displayed in the us guys.

But let’s not forget, that our wives and daughters are image bearers of the Creator, and that certain of God’s glorious perfections are demonstrated clearest in the feminine gender. Even Jesus; God Incarnate, wept as He overlooked Jerusalem, and grieved publicly, “How oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings.” As a hen!! God’s tenderness, His compassion, attention to needs, His undying patience, His faithful concern and care, generally display themselves more in the female gender.

But there is another aspect of the Divine image that comes to light more among our wives, and daughters; God’s jealous desire to be loved and appreciated.

Let it not be lost on us that His first and greatest commandment to us is that we love Him. It is not just one of the commandments, but THE first and THE greatest of them all (Matt. 22:38). How the Almighty desires to be noticed, and how He is incensed and jealous for those who live as if He does not exist! How in disgust He indicts us with the words of Romans 3:11, “there is none that seeketh after God.”

He seeks for those who will adore Him according to John 4:23. His Spirit inspired His Psalmist to write how deeply he desired “to behold the beauty of the Lord” (Ps. 27:4).

Boys are different as they bear His image. They slam into things, conquer hills, and turn practically everything into weapons; even sandwich bread. Boys turn blankets into Batman capes and destroy the invisible bad guys. They long to be the hero!

Little girls are different. They turn blankets into elegant flowing dresses and dream about being the rescued princess by the valiant prince. They are enchanted by stories like that of unknown Cinderella being sought among all the damsels in the kingdom. They are enamored in the moment when the glass slipper fits. Little girls muse that someone would discover their mysterious hidden beauty. They delight in being discovered.

And they got it, not from Disney, but from Deity!

It’s why our little daughters spin so elegantly in front of us, and it’s why our wives inquire, “Do you still love me?”, while we stare at our smartphones. Because the women in our lives bear the glorious image of a God who desires to be loved.

And what wreckage upon the feminine gender is caused by aloof husbands and absentee fathers!

I have seen the tatted up, pregnant, young gang member girls from my time in the inner-city ministry of Rockford, Illinois. Those maternity clothes on a 15-year old girl in reality are the heart-cry to an absentee dad, who was never there for his little princess, and so she sought for affection and yielded the precious diamond of her heart unto the first male who pretended to be interested. Daddy wasn’t there so a “baby-daddy” now is.

A woman can be many things, but she can’t be unnoticed.

This is where as men, as husband and fathers, we must enter the scene.

God, knowing our wildly idolatrous male hearts, forbids us to love many things, like sleep (Prov. 20:13), like the applause of people (Matt. 6:5), like the world and all its sinful allurements (1 Jn. 2:15). Yet, He still permits, and even commands us to love our wives deeply, even at the cost of our lives, as Christ loved His church (Eph. 5:25). If there’s one person we can righteously throw our hearts toward, it’s our wives.

Yet there we are, enthralled by anything but them. The NBA playoffs, Twitter feeds, the latest app on our iPhone, or our most recently purchased DeWalt tool, commands our total attention. We tend to be Facebook junkies, so interested in people who live two thousand miles away, and yet be unaware of the spiritual and emotional needs of our wives who are two feet away as they lay in bed next to us.

Your wife did twirls before her Daddy (if he was present), when she was little. She longed for her beauty to be noticed. She hid from him, hoping to be sought after. Now, as an adult, that longing to be pursued hasn’t subsided, but has been transferred to you as her husband. The image of God is not a phase she’s ever going to grow out of! That hope in her to fascinate you and have your attention is perhaps as strong as ever.

Your wife did twirls before her Daddy (if he was present), when she was little. She longed for her beauty to be noticed. She hid from him, hoping to be sought after. Now, as an adult, that longing to be pursued hasn’t subsided, but has been transferred to you as her husband. The image of God is not a phase she’s ever going to grow out of! That hope in her to fascinate you and have your attention is perhaps as strong as ever.

So, the version of us as husbands that most threatens our wives is not necessarily the mean-spirited, yelling version, but rather the bored, uninterested version. Am I that version? Are you?

Your daughter longs for the attention and affection of a man. In her earliest years, especially, that must be her Daddy.  That must be you!! When a Daddy yields attention to his little girl, his love teaches her how to be loved; how to be treated well and respected by another man in the future, her husband. But Dad’s absence, or silent distance from her exposes her to the first dude who might pay her the slightest compliment, the smallest amount of attention, and she’s much more prone to fall into the hands of an unworthy, but at least interested suitor. 

If you’re not enamored by those twirls, someone, someday, will be.

So let’s stop being the Dad who always retreats to the man-cave, or the guy who’s only two words when he gets home from work are, “I’m tired,” or the guy whose face is glued to some sort of screen, while underneath our roof our daughters are being pursued by some loser on Facebook, telling her how pretty she is. That’s not his job. It’s ours.

Personal Takeaways

If you are a Christian man reading this article, let the image of Christ, be formed in you. Jesus was attentive to the needs of women throughout His earthly ministry, and is now ever attentive to the needs of His spiritual bride the Church. He can live through your life as you surrender to Him (Gal. 2:20).

If you are not a Christian man, let the failures and sins as a husband/father that you have committed drive you to the Cross of Christ, where that glorious God, would gladly receive you as you put your faith in His sacrifice on your behalf.